I can’t believe this weeks marks my blog MrsMeaks turning 1. I am extremely proud of my blog especially the bravery of many guest bloggers and the subjects that have been so sensitively shared. I am also so proud with how many messages of support and friendships I have made through my writing and these little squares on Instagram. It really feels like such a wonderful community to be part of and that makes me feel proud. MrsMeaks was born out of heartache but what in turn has happened, is being able to create a really positive place for myself and others to share their experiences with Infertility, Baby loss and Motherhood.
But recently I’ve found myself slightly disengaged with my blog writing and even falling slightly out of love with Instagram. It took me a while for the penny to drop but I realised it was some due to some major self-preservation kicking in. You see, our fertility journey is almost at the 5 year point and it was starting to consume me a little. Our lives and my writing had become all about conceiving baby no.2 and I was suddenly reminded of the person I had become in the years before Austin arrived.
I have also struggled with the label “Fertility Blogger” too. It suddenly felt like Kate Meakin was synonymous with Infertility and whilst I am incredibly proud of our journey it does not define me, nor do I want it to. I wear many hats in life, I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend and they all bring me such happiness that I want to share those too. I think ultimately what I am trying to convey is that life was starting to stand still a little and I really didn’t like it. I want to remember to live in the moment and be present. I don’t want to start wishing my life away waiting for another baby or not stay ambitious to grow as a person too. I certainly don’t want to miss a moment of Austin growing up which is why I didn’t return to work after my maternity leave finished.
This is by no means me wanting to turn my back on the TTC community, I love being able to follow others and their journeys too. I feel privileged to have the insight into such brave, personal stories. I would love to start organising some meet ups local to my area in Surrey – inclusive of all those who want to be involved. My blog will always be heavily based on fertility and everything in between but it also has to evolve with me and I want to start sharing the other aspects and passions of my life that bring me happiness. You only have to look at my Instagram feed to see the presence of fashion and all my nail art pictures, it’s not a coincidence they are heavily featured!
So what does this mean for MrsMeaks? Well, nothing major really but I will start to update my site shortly and maybe look at how I can bring my other passions to life. Motherhood experiences will also start to feature more, I think before I was always worried about upsetting those following me but I have realised that is not always the case and I have to write/talk about my journey as a mother too. We are off to America next month for my brothers wedding and we have planned a road trip from New York- Vermont-Boston-New York and I can’t wait to share our adventures and experiences of travelling with a toddler! Austin is a page-boy, myself a bridesmaid and Phil is a groomsman! We can’t wait to experience this family wedding stateside along with exploring New York for the third time together and for the first time, Boston City! Harvard University is top of the list to visit amongst the many Museums and Galleries. Any child friendly recommendations, please do send them my way!!
When we return we will think about our next embryo transfer and see where the next phase in our fertility journey takes us. I am so passionate about breaking the silence around baby loss and hope there will alway be opportunities to continue to support and talk about this subject so close to my heart. I will always be so grateful for all the support I receive as this is a subject I feel so, so passionate about. So for now, thank you for all the lovely support and I can’t wait to see what the next year brings for the MrsMeaks! I hope you still enjoy what I write and continue to follow our journey. Above everything else I will try to remember to be happy and live for now and not what may or may not happen in the future.
Lots of love, Kate